


Guilt

by Jennart



Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Hope for the future, Hurt/Comfort, Other, Sad Barry, comforting Y/N
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-23
Updated: 2019-03-23
Packaged: 2019-11-28 19:22:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,059
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18212543
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jennart/pseuds/Jennart
Summary: The reader comforts Barry after he fails to save someone during a meta attack.Warnings: Death of Unnamed Characters (not described in detail)Squicks: NoneGenre: Hurt/ComfortAll of my reader inserts are gender neutral!





	Guilt

The city was littered with small fires, each spreading rapidly, no matter how many Barry and his speed were able to put out. A raging metahuman had rained small meteors all over the city. The team were trying their hardest to save as many people as possible, to put out as many fires as they could before anyone suffered the consequences.

“Barry! Focus on the meta. Let us handle the fires! We don’t want him to bring another shower!” Y/N’s voice rang through the speaker in his ear.

“Got it!” He answered, zipping off towards where the villain was last sighted. It took just a few moments for him to capture the meta, tie his hands, and deliver him to the police department. In a flash, he was back fighting the fires once more, moving people and billowing air, moving debris and splashing water.

Y/N flicked their hand, strong gusts of wind smothering and blowing out the fires nearest to them. Moving from building to building, each person with their own area to take care of, the fires were all put out. It didn’t take long, just a few hours, but to Barry it felt like it took days to put out all the small fires that took over the town. He was dripping in sweat from both exertion and the heat of the fires, but it was over. Running back to the group, he plopped himself down on the pavement, sighing.

“How many?” Barry asked. Cisco’s reluctance was enough to let Barry know that the count was high.

“How many, Cisco?” Cisco’s grimaced. Barry looked Cisco in the eye and Cisco knew he had to respond, there was no way to deny the speedster of the news he desperately didn’t want to hear.

“…70 wounded and 3 dead.” The group was silent for what felt like an eternity, though it was only a few minutes.

“It could have been worse,” Y/N stood up and was stretching their shoulder, rotating it gingerly. “Rest for now, we can play clean up and repair tomorrow,” Y/N started walking towards their home, a hand held in the air as a silent goodbye. Barry held his head in his hands before zipping off, leaving the rest of the crew alone in solemn silence.

Y/N walked into their apartment, tossing their tattered and burned uniform aside. They walked over to the refrigerator, grabbing some cold water. They heard the familiar sound of Barry’s speed as he entered, stopping at the doorframe to the small kitchen.

“How do you deal with this guilt?!” Barry shouted. He was confused and jealous and angry all at the same time. How could they be so calm? How could they not react at all to what had just happened, all the people who had been hurt because they didn’t do a good enough job? Wet tears fell down his cheeks joined with shaking breaths.

Y/N took a long draw of water into their mouth before letting out a sigh. They walked over to Barry and ushered him to a chair before putting a gentle hand on his cheek, coaxing him to look up. Y/N’s eyes were misty.

“You remember that you can’t save everyone, but you still have to try. If I give it my all then I need to accept that I couldn’t do any more. I am not limitless.” Y/N wiped at their face with their other hand, “I am not a miracle worker. I can’t save everyone, no one can every single time. But we still have to try.” Y/N’s hand fell from Barry’s face; he longed for the warmth and familiar comfort that Y/N gave. Y/N walked to the nearby window, looking out solemnly before continuing.

“We may not have saved everyone, but we can’t change the past. We can’t let those past failures define us. Instead of thinking of those we failed to save, we must think of the thousands that we have saved instead, the people who wouldn’t be here without our help.”

Barry was silent, pondering Y/N’s words. He took a moment to think before speaking, “I know I tried my best, and we saved a lot of people, but I still feel guilty.”

“It’s okay to feel guilty. What matter is how you apply that guilt,” Y/N walked back to Barry, a glass of water in hand for him. He sipped on it as they spoke. “I use my guilt to motivate me. I train harder, volunteer more, and take better care of myself, knowing that it will prevent this from happening again. I know that you feel guilty now, and it will never go away, but helping more people helps it fade a little.” Y/N looked down at their hands, “I still remember everyone I’ve failed to save, but I know that I can’t let them bring me down. I know that I will do better: that I will save more people. I will inevitably fail, but that’s part of life. We fail. It’s human nature. It’s just that in our line of work, failure means death. It’s not fair, but the guilt is the price we have to pay to be a part of this,” Barry stood up silently and walked over to Y/N, wrapping them in a hug, his chin resting on top of their head. Y/N set their cup down and turned towards the speedster, locking their arms around his torso. The pair sat in silence for a moment, relishing in the calm after the storm, even though Barry felt as though he was just in the eye and more pain was to come.

“How did you get to be so wise?” Barry said.

“Too much coffee and a lot of philosophy books,” Y/N cracked a smile before pulling away, much to Barry’s disappointment. “Now,” Y/N continued, “Let’s eat ice cream and watch bad movies,” Y/N ushered Barry over to the couch, two spoons in hand. Barry let a small smile grace his features; he knew that although he had failed today, in the long run he had saved many people, and that this person in front of him, eating ice cream from the tub, was one person that he would never fail to protect, no matter what.

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! I am currently working on crossposting all of my work from tumblr. This was originally written 8/2/18.
> 
> All of my reader inserts are gender neutral! If you find a grammar or pronoun error, please tell me so I can correct it! Requests are always open.


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